In December of 2019, I was at a crises. By Christmas, I was physically and emotionally broken. For months I had been struggling with frequent episodes with my blood sugar disorder that knocked me flat. These episodes lasted several days at a time, and included weakness, headache, dizziness and nausea. I was a mess. I cried a lot. I prayed a lot. I really had hoped I would be able to care for Mom until she died. Instead, I was afraid the person more likely to die was me. I was that low.
After an hour of intense prayer that opened my understanding, I admitted it was time to place Mom into a care center. Steve and I did a tour of Spring Gardens Mapleton, on December 31. There would be an opening in the memory care area, we were told, on January 9. I didn't believe I could make that happen that soon. I thought we would hope and plan for spring. I prayed for confirmation. Instead, I felt strongly I was to take Mom to see the facility. Not expecting that! She couldn't make decisions. She would resist the idea, I was sure. It was part of the misery I didn't want to take on.
On January 1, I invited Mom to look at Spring Gardens. I tearfully approached her regarding the need for this change. To my surprise, she was very compassionate and willing to ease my burdens. She was happy to take the tour. We made the appointment. We took Mom. They fed us lunch. While sitting in the cute "ice-cream parlor," there, I asked Mom how she felt about the place. She said, "I don't feel any unfriendly spirits."
Steve remarked, "it's peaceful, here, isn't it?"
She said, "yes, it is." And I had the confirmation, there and then, that we were to act promptly. It would be ok.
She moved in on January 20th. Somehow, I was strengthened, Steve wrought a miracle with help from our kids. The little house, where Mom had been living for four years, was emptied out. We sold and gave away all the furnishings. Some went to grandkids. I survived that, too, whilst visiting Mom every day, helping her and the staff to adjust to each other. It was difficult. There were battles as Mom dealt with the new place and changes beyond her control. But I no longer was alone. The burden didn't disappear, but it was made lighter.
And then, COVID 19 hit. In March, new guidelines restricted visits. I was forced to "let go," ready or not. I realized that the timing for this project had been designed and executed by a kind Heavenly Father. I could never have done the move during the quarantine. It leaves me breathless in gratitude.
And that's how things stayed for almost a year. I talked to Mom on the phone a couple times a week. Sometimes, if she became confused or agitated to the point that the staff couldn't calm her down, they would have her call me. It wasn't easy to deal with those surprises; but oh, what a difference! It was much easier than what I had been doing.
The story doesn't end here. I will add another chapter soon.
